Sad Topographies

Stories are also a form of imaginary travel, a way of traversing the landscape of the mind.

In his book, Sad Topographies, Damien Rudd writes a chapter on non-places, specifically gas stations. It took me back to a forgotten story in my timeline of memories, some 20 years ago, when I celebrated New Year’s Eve at a petrol station. 

I had a friend who worked the night shift at petrol stations around the outskirts of Adelaide. I think the money was decent but not worth the hassle of dealing with the unruly behaviour of late-night customers. I was surprised to learn how many people would fill up their car’s petrol tank with fuel and then drive off. Mind you, this was the early 2000s, so security was not what it is today. The money that was unaccounted for would have to come out of my friend’s paycheck, supposedly incentivising him to keep an eagle eye on his customers. The job stressed him out, but it gave him the time to think about where he wanted his future self to be.

A petrol station is an eerie place, especially at night when it's deserted. I can remember driving to what felt like the middle of nowhere with an array of celebratory snacks to bring in the new year with my friend who was working that night. To keep him company in an isolated non-place with a bottle of Passion Pop. Unsurprisingly, it was a slow night, but that meant independent 18-year-old me was with her beloved friend, and together, we watched the suburban fireworks sparkle. 

During the long drive home, I felt unexpected loneliness on the deserted highway, but hopeful anticipation of Adelaide’s city lights distracted my young mind from feeling so utterly alone. The further away I drove, in the dark early morning hours away from the vast empty spaces surrounding that petrol station, the less melancholy I felt. 

While Damien Rudd finds gas stations disturbing, artificial spaces, uncertain arrangements of material and form suspended between here and there, the real and imaginary, my recollected petrol station resides in a world tethered to a placeless site of a lost memory.